December 2009
1. Opposition leadership spill.
The issue of whether or not to support the Government's Emissions Trading Scheme stretched the Liberal Party as far as it could go, culminating in a tightly fought leadership spill that saw Malcolm Turnbull deposed, Tony Abbott victorious, and Joe Hockey out of contention, or - as I rather think - waiting in the wings for the moment when the Libs look like having half a chance at getting a majority.
The leadership spill also left me very confused. Generally, on basically any issue if the Libs are on one side and Labor on the other, then I'm with Labor. But not on the ETS. And I also love Malcolm Turnbull (my favourite Lib!) and loathe Tony Abbott, so generally if one of them's saying one thing, and the other disagrees, I'd be with Malcolm. But . . . not on the ETS.
And then if I had my druthers, I'd rather Turnbull was the leader of the opposition, because I hate Abbott so much. But then I think the Mad Monk is less likely to get a good result in an election than Turnbull, so I should be glad that it's him leading now . . .
Like I said, confusing.
2. Pineapples have seeds.
Pineapples! Have seeds! I really can't stress enough how amazing I find that. I have been on this planet for 28 and half years, and I only just found that out, despite the rather large number of fresh pineapples I have seen/cut/eaten in my time.
SEEDS! Amazing.
3. Mary MacKillop expected to be canonised.
The Vatican recognised a second miracle attributed to Mary MacKillop, making it virtually certain that in 2010 she will be canonised, and become Australia's first saint. In addition, she would be in exclusive company as one of the only saints to have been previously excommunicated from (and then accpeted back to) the Church.
4. Avatar revolutionises cinema.
Honestly, if you haven't seen Avatar, and you're wondering whether all the fuss is justified - yes, it is. Emphatically so.
Sure the story is a bit basic, and a little bit Fern Gully. And it is possibly, in the way of these things, a bit long. But the visual effects - particularly the motion capture and compositing - are stunning. Completely convincing, such that it is possible to forget at various points that the big blue people are not carrying/touching/kissing the humans. In fact, the humans would have been in an entirely blank green set.
So if you haven't seen it, do go, straight away. This is the Citizen Kane of this generation, and in 20 years you're going to want to say, "I was there when . . .".
Tuesday, 12 January 2010
The Year in Review: November 2009
November 2009
1. "Freddo Boy" retardedness.
Australia proved that we have our share of hang ups that make us act like retarded dickheads - in this case, on the issue of what to do about indigenous offenders. It's a thorny issue, and one that is particularly difficult to solve - mostly because police and politicians insist on treating it as a law and order issue, rather than addressing wider social issues that are the root of the problem.
Case in point - a 12-year-old Aboriginal boy was charged with receiving stolen goods after a friend of his gave him a stolen Freddo frog. Largely due to a huge outcry over the sheer ridiculousness of the matter, the police referred the matter to a Juvenile Justice Team, and the charges were subsequently dismissed by a magistrate.
However, the police insisted that they were correct to charge the boy, on the basis of his having come to the attention of police in the past, though he was never charged. But for me, that kind of makes it even less dignified for the police - it makes it look like they were clutching at any excuse to charge the boy, regardless of how ridiculously petty the incident was.
2. Asylum seeker retardness.
Another issue that Australians are particularly retarded on are asylum seekers. We're faced with the problem of having lots of boats full of illegal immigrants trying to make their way to our shores, but instead of working out an effective management plan, we try and make it into a Somebody Else's Problem.
Unfortunately our new approach fails to work, because actually, it isn't somebody else's problem. It's our problem and we need to deal with it. This was thrown into stark relief with the Oceanic Viking standoff, which saw asylum seekers rescued by the Australian Navy taken to Indonesia, and told they had to get off. But they refused, and left us with no idea what to do.
We tried to force them off, we tried to get New Zealand to take them, but finally we were forced to offer that we would assess their status, and, if found to be refugees, we would process and resettle them within 3 months. After this offer was given, the asylum seekers left the ship . . . but a little too late for our dignity.
3. Thierry Henry retardedness.
During the playoffs for the 2010 World Cup, Frenchman Henry turned himself from a sporting hero into a dirty cheat. Unseen by the ref, he twice handled the ball in the penalty area, setting up the goal that allowed France to qualify at the expense of Ireland.
Now of course it can by no means be said that cheating that robbed Ireland of their spot in the World Cup. What it did do was rob Ireland of their chance to play their way into the World Cup, fair and square. And for most people (possbily not the French) it robs them of the chance to appreciate Henry for the first class sportsman that he is - being blinded by how classless he has proved himself to be in sportsmanship.
1. "Freddo Boy" retardedness.
Australia proved that we have our share of hang ups that make us act like retarded dickheads - in this case, on the issue of what to do about indigenous offenders. It's a thorny issue, and one that is particularly difficult to solve - mostly because police and politicians insist on treating it as a law and order issue, rather than addressing wider social issues that are the root of the problem.
Case in point - a 12-year-old Aboriginal boy was charged with receiving stolen goods after a friend of his gave him a stolen Freddo frog. Largely due to a huge outcry over the sheer ridiculousness of the matter, the police referred the matter to a Juvenile Justice Team, and the charges were subsequently dismissed by a magistrate.
However, the police insisted that they were correct to charge the boy, on the basis of his having come to the attention of police in the past, though he was never charged. But for me, that kind of makes it even less dignified for the police - it makes it look like they were clutching at any excuse to charge the boy, regardless of how ridiculously petty the incident was.
2. Asylum seeker retardness.
Another issue that Australians are particularly retarded on are asylum seekers. We're faced with the problem of having lots of boats full of illegal immigrants trying to make their way to our shores, but instead of working out an effective management plan, we try and make it into a Somebody Else's Problem.
Unfortunately our new approach fails to work, because actually, it isn't somebody else's problem. It's our problem and we need to deal with it. This was thrown into stark relief with the Oceanic Viking standoff, which saw asylum seekers rescued by the Australian Navy taken to Indonesia, and told they had to get off. But they refused, and left us with no idea what to do.
We tried to force them off, we tried to get New Zealand to take them, but finally we were forced to offer that we would assess their status, and, if found to be refugees, we would process and resettle them within 3 months. After this offer was given, the asylum seekers left the ship . . . but a little too late for our dignity.
3. Thierry Henry retardedness.
During the playoffs for the 2010 World Cup, Frenchman Henry turned himself from a sporting hero into a dirty cheat. Unseen by the ref, he twice handled the ball in the penalty area, setting up the goal that allowed France to qualify at the expense of Ireland.
Now of course it can by no means be said that cheating that robbed Ireland of their spot in the World Cup. What it did do was rob Ireland of their chance to play their way into the World Cup, fair and square. And for most people (possbily not the French) it robs them of the chance to appreciate Henry for the first class sportsman that he is - being blinded by how classless he has proved himself to be in sportsmanship.
Sunday, 10 January 2010
The Year in Review: October 2009
October 2009
1. "Balloon boy" retardedness.
The "balloon boy" incident started off dumb and just got worse and worse. Initially it seemed that a six year old boy had stowed away on a home-made helium balloon. The balloon eventually landed hours later, near the Denver airport, causing the airport to be closed down while National Guard helicopters and local police pursued it. On arrival at the landing site, there was no sign of the boy, prompting fears that he had fallen or wandered off, and causing a huge search and rescue operation to be launched.
But it then transpired that the boy had apparently been hiding in the garage at home. Which might make you think that it was a whole lot of fuss over a kid being naughty - still, not much you can do about it except ground him.
But it then transpired that actually, the whole thing may have been a hoax cooked up by the parents. And so an investigation was pursued, to get to the bottom of the matter.
And then, it turned out that indeed it had been a hoax all along, and that the parents had gone through with it in order to try and make themselves more marketable for a reality TV show. Which actually kind of makes sense when you consider that these people believe in aliens, and named their child "Falcon".
2. Nobel peace (sur)prize.
In a move that shocked, well, just about everyone, the Nobel Prize for peace was awarded to Barack Obama "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples". To be honest, it was a little bit hard to see what the man had actually done to earn the prize - though I quite like Michael Moore's take on it.
3. Castle doctrine my ass.
In personal news, October saw my house (which I had been in for about a month and a half) get broken into. It wasn't a surprise, really - I'm not in the best neighbourhood - but it was something of a shock to come in and see the back door just open.
Fortunately, all of the (collarless) cats were still inside, and in fact the only thing taken was my eMac computer, which was so old that in getting it replaced by my insurers, I'm actually getting a far superior model.
Still, the incident left me feeling like my house was not really all that safe, and shook me up a bit. Though I can say, it still hasn't led me to buy a samurai sword.
1. "Balloon boy" retardedness.
The "balloon boy" incident started off dumb and just got worse and worse. Initially it seemed that a six year old boy had stowed away on a home-made helium balloon. The balloon eventually landed hours later, near the Denver airport, causing the airport to be closed down while National Guard helicopters and local police pursued it. On arrival at the landing site, there was no sign of the boy, prompting fears that he had fallen or wandered off, and causing a huge search and rescue operation to be launched.
But it then transpired that the boy had apparently been hiding in the garage at home. Which might make you think that it was a whole lot of fuss over a kid being naughty - still, not much you can do about it except ground him.
But it then transpired that actually, the whole thing may have been a hoax cooked up by the parents. And so an investigation was pursued, to get to the bottom of the matter.
And then, it turned out that indeed it had been a hoax all along, and that the parents had gone through with it in order to try and make themselves more marketable for a reality TV show. Which actually kind of makes sense when you consider that these people believe in aliens, and named their child "Falcon".
2. Nobel peace (sur)prize.
In a move that shocked, well, just about everyone, the Nobel Prize for peace was awarded to Barack Obama "for his extraordinary efforts to strengthen international diplomacy and cooperation between peoples". To be honest, it was a little bit hard to see what the man had actually done to earn the prize - though I quite like Michael Moore's take on it.
3. Castle doctrine my ass.
In personal news, October saw my house (which I had been in for about a month and a half) get broken into. It wasn't a surprise, really - I'm not in the best neighbourhood - but it was something of a shock to come in and see the back door just open.
Fortunately, all of the (collarless) cats were still inside, and in fact the only thing taken was my eMac computer, which was so old that in getting it replaced by my insurers, I'm actually getting a far superior model.
Still, the incident left me feeling like my house was not really all that safe, and shook me up a bit. Though I can say, it still hasn't led me to buy a samurai sword.
Saturday, 9 January 2010
The Year in Review: September 2009
September 2009
1. Samurai death.
Proving that no matter how insane I think the US is, they can always go one better, a university student dealt with an intruder in his house by breaking out his samurai sword and killing the guy . . . and then wasn't charged with anything at all. This is because it's legal to have a samurai sword in Maryland, the state where the incident occurred, and apparently they also have some version of what is known as "Castle Doctrine".
The castle doctrine basically says, if someone illegally enters your house, you have the right to do whatever you want to them to "defend" yourself and your property, so long as you don't do it with an implement that is illegal.
So the erstwhile burglar loses his right not be murdered, while the 20 year old has an horrific death on his conscience, over a couple of hundred bucks' worth of electronic equipment?? I think that US in general may have a problem with excessive force.
2. He's like the wind.
Poor old Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer, his passing prompting the most frequent playings of (I've Had) The Time of My Life since 1987.
3. Silvio Berlusconi puts up his nomination for the dumbest world leader ever.
OK, so there's pretty much no way that anyone but George W. Bush would win that award, if it ever came down to it, but Italy's PM Berlusconi would have to be in the top 10. Not only does he incessantly refer to both Barack and Michelle Obama as "suntanned", he insists that anyone who thinks that might be a bit rascist would have to be an "imbecile". Quite.
1. Samurai death.
Proving that no matter how insane I think the US is, they can always go one better, a university student dealt with an intruder in his house by breaking out his samurai sword and killing the guy . . . and then wasn't charged with anything at all. This is because it's legal to have a samurai sword in Maryland, the state where the incident occurred, and apparently they also have some version of what is known as "Castle Doctrine".
The castle doctrine basically says, if someone illegally enters your house, you have the right to do whatever you want to them to "defend" yourself and your property, so long as you don't do it with an implement that is illegal.
So the erstwhile burglar loses his right not be murdered, while the 20 year old has an horrific death on his conscience, over a couple of hundred bucks' worth of electronic equipment?? I think that US in general may have a problem with excessive force.
2. He's like the wind.
Poor old Patrick Swayze lost his battle with pancreatic cancer, his passing prompting the most frequent playings of (I've Had) The Time of My Life since 1987.
3. Silvio Berlusconi puts up his nomination for the dumbest world leader ever.
OK, so there's pretty much no way that anyone but George W. Bush would win that award, if it ever came down to it, but Italy's PM Berlusconi would have to be in the top 10. Not only does he incessantly refer to both Barack and Michelle Obama as "suntanned", he insists that anyone who thinks that might be a bit rascist would have to be an "imbecile". Quite.
Friday, 8 January 2010
The Year in Review: August 2009
August 2009
1. Australia loses the Ashes. Again.
For the second time in a row, Australia lost the Ashes in England. This second time hurt less than the first, possibly because it's less of a shock when it hasn't been so many years between losses, or possibly because this time we really were pretty much outplayed (as opposed to last time, when we didn't have McGrath, and the Poms cheated as much as possible . . .).
Basically, this time around we brought it more or less entirely on ourselves, with conservative captaincy that failed to go for the jugular in the very first test, and the indifferent form of various players that time and again saw us unable to perform to our best. In fact, what we were really missing . . . was McGrath.
Compare this to the English having a couple of players that nobody much rated (even the English) bringing some of the best performances of the tour, and Strauss leading from the front as the Man of the Series, and you pretty much have a situation in which it was always going to be hard for Australia to retain the Ashes. But of course, all this simply means that we're gearing up for another 5-nil drubbing when the Poms make it back over here.
Even without McGrath.
2. Triple J's Hottest 100 of All Time.
Triple J announced the results of their poll "The Hottest 100 of All Time". With over half a million votes, the poll was pretty massive, and the top ten came out pretty much exactly how you would think it would, with the #1 position going to Nirvana's Smells Like Teen Spirit.
In fact, the entire list turned out pretty much how you would expect it to, though for me TV On The Radio's Wolf Like Me appearing in the list - even at #99 - is a bit weird. But even though the list is pretty predictable, that didn't stop various people scenting a conspiracy. This included Triple J's own show, Hack, who did an investigative report into the results that was never aired due to the fact that they had used incomplete data to fuel their allegations.
One of the big points that a lot of people made was that there were hardly any women on the list, and this was therefore very suspicious. Or at the very least, biased. I would argue (as a woman, and a feminist) that this is because an awful lot of music that women put out is thoroughly shit*. I'm not saying women can't make awesome, popular, moving, anthemic musical masterpieces. It's more like, they just don't. I mean, really, if I made a list of my personal "Greatest songs of all time" I'm sure they would largely be by male composers and performers - and I think most people would say the same.
*When I say "shit", I mean "not my cup of tea" rather than say, "poorly composed and/or executed."
Wednesday, 6 January 2010
The Year in Review: July 2009
July 2009
1. Three new dinosaur species found in Australia.
Australia has never been a particularly rich ground for finding actual dinosaurs - our largely polar position for the ages associated with dinosaur life means that for much of that time, the Australian landmass was a bit cold and dark to support too many species, with our prehistoric fauna tending much more towards marine invertebrates and mega marsupials.
So it was very exciting when the remains of three new dinosaur species were discovered in Queensland, including a new carnivore something along the lines of a large velociraptor. Unfortunately, in all the excitement somebody thought that it was appropriate, rather than say, stupid, to nickname the dinosaurs "Banjo", "Clancy" and "Matilda" due to their being found in a (prehistoric) billabong at Winton, where Banjo Patterson composed 'Waltzing Matilda'.
2. Hotel bombings in Jakarta.
The first terrorism bombings since 2005, the attacks on the JW Marriott and Ritz-Carlton hotels in Jakarta happened 5 minutes apart, killing 7, inlcuding three Australians and injuring more than 50.
After the attacks, an unexploded bomb was found in the Marriott that had been set to go off before the other bomb in the lobby. Police investigating the bombings believed that the first bomb had been intended to cause people to panic and evacuate through the lobby, in order to maximise the effect of the lobby bomb. Had the timer on the first bomb not malfunctioned, the casualties at the Marriot may well have been much higher.
3. Williams swapsies at Wimbledon.
To nobody's surprise, the line up for the Women's Singles final at Wimbledon was a repeat of 2008 (and indeed other years) with the Williams sisters once again facing off. In 2008, it was Venus who was victorious, but in 2009 Serena turned the tables and defeated her sister. So that's nice and even of them, really.
1. Three new dinosaur species found in Australia.
Australia has never been a particularly rich ground for finding actual dinosaurs - our largely polar position for the ages associated with dinosaur life means that for much of that time, the Australian landmass was a bit cold and dark to support too many species, with our prehistoric fauna tending much more towards marine invertebrates and mega marsupials.
So it was very exciting when the remains of three new dinosaur species were discovered in Queensland, including a new carnivore something along the lines of a large velociraptor. Unfortunately, in all the excitement somebody thought that it was appropriate, rather than say, stupid, to nickname the dinosaurs "Banjo", "Clancy" and "Matilda" due to their being found in a (prehistoric) billabong at Winton, where Banjo Patterson composed 'Waltzing Matilda'.
2. Hotel bombings in Jakarta.
The first terrorism bombings since 2005, the attacks on the JW Marriott and Ritz-Carlton hotels in Jakarta happened 5 minutes apart, killing 7, inlcuding three Australians and injuring more than 50.
After the attacks, an unexploded bomb was found in the Marriott that had been set to go off before the other bomb in the lobby. Police investigating the bombings believed that the first bomb had been intended to cause people to panic and evacuate through the lobby, in order to maximise the effect of the lobby bomb. Had the timer on the first bomb not malfunctioned, the casualties at the Marriot may well have been much higher.
3. Williams swapsies at Wimbledon.
To nobody's surprise, the line up for the Women's Singles final at Wimbledon was a repeat of 2008 (and indeed other years) with the Williams sisters once again facing off. In 2008, it was Venus who was victorious, but in 2009 Serena turned the tables and defeated her sister. So that's nice and even of them, really.
Tuesday, 5 January 2010
The Year in Review: June 2009
June 2009
1. Home ownership.
For me, the most important event of June was that I bought a house. It was something that I had imagined to be out of my grasp, but ironically the unstable financial situation worked greatly in my favour - causing the bottom of the (ridiculously out-of-control) property market to drop out. At the same time, the government was still offering a doubled first home owner's grant of $14,000 - meaning I could just afford to get into my own home. Hooray!
2. Murder of George Tiller.
Confirming that there is no level of insanity or stupidity too great for an extremist to master, abortion doctor George Tiller was shot dead (alledgedly) by "pro-life" nutjob Scott Roeder. While he was at a church service, no less.
Well, indeed. We take right to life so seriously that we'll kill you if you don't agree.
3. The Chaser finally oversteps the mark.
The Chaser's War on Everything did a very dark sketch lampooning the Make-a-Wish Foundation, which met with virtually universal condemnation. Personally, I wasn't that bothered by it, though I can imagine if you were a parent of a critically ill child, or a critically ill child yourself, you'd find it pretty hurtful.
What I found extraordinary is that the ABC immediately distanced themselves from the whole thing, basically trying to imply that the Chaser operates in a vacuum, far from any sort of standards, legal advice, classification advice. This is obviously not how things operate - several different people would have had to both see and approve the sketch before it went live - so it seems a bit disingenous for Auntie to imply otherwise.
The other part that about the controversy that outraged me was Kevin Rudd's response. He came out and said the sketch was "beyond the pale" and that the Chaser boys should "hang their heads in shame". Which is fine, except he also said: "I didn't see that but it's been described to me." In which case, Kev, you're not entitled to an opinion, and you should hang your head in shame for jumping on the band wagon without being in possession of all of the facts.
4. The "King of Pop" dies.
I think regardless of what you thought of him, it was really kind of surreal to find out that Michael Jackson was dead. It was a sad end to a very sad life, with MJ passing away at the relatively young age of 51.
1. Home ownership.
For me, the most important event of June was that I bought a house. It was something that I had imagined to be out of my grasp, but ironically the unstable financial situation worked greatly in my favour - causing the bottom of the (ridiculously out-of-control) property market to drop out. At the same time, the government was still offering a doubled first home owner's grant of $14,000 - meaning I could just afford to get into my own home. Hooray!
2. Murder of George Tiller.
Confirming that there is no level of insanity or stupidity too great for an extremist to master, abortion doctor George Tiller was shot dead (alledgedly) by "pro-life" nutjob Scott Roeder. While he was at a church service, no less.
Well, indeed. We take right to life so seriously that we'll kill you if you don't agree.
3. The Chaser finally oversteps the mark.
The Chaser's War on Everything did a very dark sketch lampooning the Make-a-Wish Foundation, which met with virtually universal condemnation. Personally, I wasn't that bothered by it, though I can imagine if you were a parent of a critically ill child, or a critically ill child yourself, you'd find it pretty hurtful.
What I found extraordinary is that the ABC immediately distanced themselves from the whole thing, basically trying to imply that the Chaser operates in a vacuum, far from any sort of standards, legal advice, classification advice. This is obviously not how things operate - several different people would have had to both see and approve the sketch before it went live - so it seems a bit disingenous for Auntie to imply otherwise.
The other part that about the controversy that outraged me was Kevin Rudd's response. He came out and said the sketch was "beyond the pale" and that the Chaser boys should "hang their heads in shame". Which is fine, except he also said: "I didn't see that but it's been described to me." In which case, Kev, you're not entitled to an opinion, and you should hang your head in shame for jumping on the band wagon without being in possession of all of the facts.
4. The "King of Pop" dies.
I think regardless of what you thought of him, it was really kind of surreal to find out that Michael Jackson was dead. It was a sad end to a very sad life, with MJ passing away at the relatively young age of 51.
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